enji and freedom

I’m bound by external deadlines.
Everywhere.
The exam was a deadline. The thesis has a deadline. Stuff at work has it’s deadline. They are literally everywhere. And now I haven’t knit more than 10 minutes in the last weeks because of a deadline I wanted to hold. I told myself that I just had to knit on this project, because of the deadline. Or that I can’t spin for the Tour de Fleece now because of the deadline. And guess what: I failed the deadline.

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Three skeins of Pink Ribbon Papersilk yarn on a white fluffy cloudish blanket, a pink flower above and the heading “Enji Testknit” in the right upper corner.

There was this amazing testknit and I was so excited about knitting it that I thought I could handle all this. I’m talking about the Enji Scarf – it has been published by now and my project is still unfinished. And it still bothers me, that it lays there unfinished and I’m too locked because of the thought that I JUST HAD TO knit this.

But let’s talk about this amazing scarf. It’s a pattern from Jana Huck, a german pattern designer. The orginal yarn is from ITO and I substituted it with Dyeforyarn Papersilk in Electric light pink. (One of the best colours ever, in my opinion!) It has three sections, one where you do increases to create a fan shape, the second one – a garter band, and the third one – a lace edging.
If you’re interested in more pattern talk, you can visit my project page where I note down everything helpful and even not so helpful stuff about it.

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The first Flower of the Lace border from the really bright pink Enji on a white background.

For sure there are other boundaries in my head like “I need to finish this bind-off (of another WIP) before I can start another project” or “I want to participate in this knitalong with this scarf and I told the group that I’ll do that so I can’t begin another project before that”.

I think we all know this stuff and guess what: I came to the conclusion it’s bullshit. It’s a hobby. I should knit what I want. I should start what I want. I want to knit this piece – so yeah I’ll go for it! Even if there are hundreads of unfinished projects – it’s my thing and as long as I’m okay with it I should let myself have peace, especially when everything around you is busy and exhausting.

And yes, this deadline was the reason I haven’t blogged here in a while. It was just too much pressure inside of me. So now you know this amazing looking project and perhaps I had the opportunity to overcome the barriers in my head to allow me some freedom (and finish this in the near future too).

Have a wonderful Saturday and follow your heart!
Kathi

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